Divorce is messy. Never easy and heartbreaking. So many people are involved even though its the break up of two individuals. So many other hearts are broken too and many lives are affected.
Someone close to me, finally divorced his wife of 16 years today. They have two lovely children. Many, including me thought it should have ended a long time ago. Its a long story. I guess he has been working at this marriage for the sake of the children.
Comes my question. Do you stay in a marriage even though your heart and soul is no longer in the relationship? even though you have to put up a front that everything is going well when nothing is? pretend to be happy when you are truly not?? for the sake of your children??
If your answer is yes than I am truly selfish in this manner. Because I wont. Period. Its my life. I deserve to be happy, I deserve to be loved and I deserve to have a choice. I want to close my eyes and die happy. Is that too much to ask?
What about the children you ask? What about them? Life is hard. No one says it will be easy, no one person has it easy all the way. Children need to have a father and mother. But if the father and mother cant stand each other's presence, why put the kids through THEIR hell? It will not be easy, it will be horrible. But we are all stronger than we know, stronger than we think. We move on. No matter what the tragedy is, we grieve, we fall flat on our face, we go through all hardships, in the end we move on.
The children will grow and have their own lives and their own family. So you have to think of yourself, be selfish this one time. If you are not happy, you deserve to be. Walk out before its too late. Then both of you can start over and hopefully find the happiness that you both truly deserved.