Tuesday, January 26, 2010

To Tell or Not Tell

I thought I saw my friend's husband walking holding hands with ANOTHER woman. I am not sure it was really him cos it was a glimpse but I thought it was him.

And I wondered. Is he cheating on my friend? Could he? Would he? They have been married for more than 12 years and have 2 simply adorable kids. Would he, really ? Since I wasn't sure it was really him, I cant really do much.

My question is would you tell? or not tell?

I would. If I am totally sure of what I saw. I would confront the guilty partner, confirm the story or my suspicion,  and give him/her a choice. They tell or I tell. Oh yes, I would. AND I HOPE MY FRIENDS WOULD DO IT FOR ME. TELL ME. I WILL ALWAYS BE INDEBTED TO YOU.

A woman deserve to know if her husband was cheating on her. Call me a busybody, call me a home wrecker, call me what you want. My actions could well be the reason of their split. My actions could lose me a friend. My actions could start a string of complicated mess. I would still do it for a friend. If I know for sure I will tell. No woman should be made a fool.

Some man are really good at keeping their affairs from their wife. Its a pity when almost everybody knows about the affair and the only person in the dark is the WIFE. Imagine her going to a function and completely enjoying herself and time with her husband, while people look on and pity her because they know the real truth. And no one does anything, for fear of intefering. Really?

Will  you do that to your friend? Let her go on believing that her partner is all good? I wont. She might not like it, she might deny it, she might hate me for saying it. But for me it is a starting point for her to start asking her husband questions. Who knows it might make him realise his mistake and make amends. It might also cause the break up of their marriage. Am I the reason really? Probably. But if he was cheating on her, she deserves to know and decide what she wants to do about it.

Some choose to ignore, and get on with their marriage and pretend that everything is fine. Some will choose the way out. Some might want to work things out, give a second chance. The point is, you need to know. After that what you decide is up to you. Its your life. I dont have to tell you where I stand on this matter.

If I can be sure that he/she is the partner of my friend and is with someone else in a manner that is not "just friends out having lunch/dinner", I will tell. Hate me, loathe me, cut all ties with me, whatever me. I will have caused hurt, anguish, anger, etc but I will also give a chance to my friend to choose and decide what she wants to do with her life. Stay and be treated like a fool or stand up and fight for her right and get the life that she well deserved.

I am not a good friend if I dont tell. What would you do?


Anonymous said...

kak June,i really looove to read ur blog..just like ur talking 2 me..hehe..
2 tell u d truth,it happened 2 a friend of mine too..(or is it ur friend 2??).
I tell straight 2 her face,i even gave her PI tel no..hehe..brani ehh?? mampuih den if her hubby knows..but den..brani buat,brani tanggung aa..

June Malik said...

anon : true, berani buat berani tanggung. even if i might lose a friend i think i will still risk it, tak mau perempuan di aniaya sesuka hati ! btw, are you Mrs A from PJ???

Anonymous said...

Nope..m A from SM,Perak..get it?hahaha..

Sue said...

June, are you sure your friend doesn't read your blog???