Friday, July 23, 2010

PD TRIATHLON AND THE DEMON I MUST DEFEAT

No,  I am not participating, yet. 

But its something that's been niggling at the back of my mind (head? brain?) and its really getting to me. And I realised, its time I slay my demon.

Ask Nik.  The poor guy had to endure many of my questions and bear with me being overly excited, nervous and all the works rooting for HIM doing the PD Tri. Its like its me doing it and not him, LOL.  I seriously think he , somehow, magically transfer all his nerves, the whole package to me. I have all the necessary anxiety, excitement, nerves .. even writing this, my heart goes dub dab dub dab .. I wasnt even this wrecked before SCKLM. And I am hopefully going as a spectator, to scream my lungs out cheering for Nik, Kash, Rizal (to name a few)  and the others (any other RBUs going?) and at the same time feast my eyes on hunks (hey eyes are given to appreciate god's creation and hunks happen to be one of his best ever!)

Quoting Ian's dare to dream, I am starting to dream that hopefully before I turn 50, I'd complete one triathlon, even if its the sprint category. But my real dream will be doing the Olympic Distance. And its such a warm feeling that when you have a dream, its actually quite achieveable and that you can live your dream and make it come true, when you put your heart and soul in it.

For that to happen I now have to concentrate on swimming. Do the dugong like Diket :) I can swim, not a good nor strong swimmer, yet,  but I can stay upright in deep water without panicking, in the pool. Put me in the deep sea, I cant. I havent been able to master that yet. The fear that something or someone will pull me from down below.

There's a story to my having this phobia. Cut a long complicated story short, I didnt go on a family outing. I was 11. My late real father did his best to coax me, but I stayed stubborn (I was angry about something and decided to punish him by not going). And they all went and I stayed back at an aunt's place. My dad's  last words to me before he left was "ok, I will come back and get you". They went to PD and he drowned there during that outing. I was 11 and devastated. I felt that everyone blamed me. He drowned because he was thinking about me and not concentrating on the currents that took him. He was a good and strong swimmer. I distracted his attention. Took me a long time to forgive myself and to know that it was not my fault that he drowned. Took me a long time to go back to sea again. Took me longer time to be in the water and not think "ok, I will come back and get you". Thinking that he might come back and pull me down and take me with him.

As I get older I realised that if anything, my dad will be there in the water to make sure I am safe and not otherwise. But then as I grow older I acquired some extra senses that would bring my path to some supernatural (and sometimes unbelievable) encounters and experience that I  got afraid again. Air, land, water, especially water.  Its a demon within me  that I must fight and win.

I have only read about triathlons before this. Never taken it seriously.  Just enough information to know what happens in it. Then I got hooked on running and I get to know all of you and suddenly all this is right smack infront of my face.  I started cycling before I run , and thus I have to get that working again and now, I have to slay this water demon.

If and when I do this, it will be dedicated to my late real father, that lost his life to the demon in the water that day and to my late father and my late father in law.(translate :  a long complicated story cut short, hehe) 

But before that, I hope to be there on Sunday, to feel the adrenalin rush, to soak up the atmosphere and to tell myself, I will be at the starting line, someday.

To those doing the triathlon, all the best and see you at the finishing :)

14 comments:

Khairul said...

That's why we all love the anak mami. Ever the spectator! Haha.
First of all, i dig ur comment about the eye-feasting thingy. Babe-gazing is one of my pastimes...lol! Enjoy PD, take some photos of the gals for me.
Nik kena buli ke? Kesian...If u really aim to do a tri, why not? U have some advantages of ur own.
Sorry to read about ur story. Glad u are over it now.
Hey, have a blazing time in PD. The guys will surely appreciate ur support. We all budak2 will be in the Orange Run. See u next week in Putrajaya!

Yimster said...

Awww ... I feel so sad after reading this. But you know what girlfriend? You go do that triiiiiiiiiiii .... later lah of course and I want to see you at that finishing line. Joms! lol

Stay true to the boys and gals at PD ya and huggies and kisses!

rusfarizal rusli said...

thanks june....i sekarang nie tgh nervous..heheheheh

tsar said...

I'm sensing another vest or suit :)
Hmm babes huh? Ni yg nak gi tgk ni. Hehe. But i need to be back in kl by noon. Tak tau sempat ke tak.
Anyways, I'm sorry to read abt your past. But I believe it made you stronger and the person you are today. The person who ticked off makcik nasi lemak. Hahaha. Oops terbuat lawak lak. Hehe. Sori :)

Azza said...

K.June, thanks for sharing. Sad story...anyway, you r strong enough to overcome any obstacles, i believe in u :)

Justiffa said...

It must've been quite traumatic for that poor lil gal.. even tho it had happened a loooong time ago pasti kesannye masih terasa. but maybe its time to put it to rest gf. And that fire-breathing dragon? maybe u dun even hafta slay him.. u could learn to co-exist.

Apapun do what u must.. u know urself best n we're right here behind u ;D

Justiffa said...

Haish apala makcik tipah ni.. demons & dragons pun bole confuse hehehe. ;p

June Malik said...

thank you very much all .. its not a story i share often or with many people and now its public knowledge LOL. But sometimes getting it out is the best remedy of all. and now back to my dreams :)

Diket said...

Kak June, your story so dramatic. Let it give strength for you in pursuit of your dream. God speed, I want to share the battle field with you come next PD tri. Fookyah!

June Malik said...

Diket, thanks, and insyaallah, and yeah, fookyah!!

ian yusof said...

sorry to hear that ...

yup, as diket says, let this be the strength of our existence. Insyallah, wil see you in one of the tris once I'm settled down with several important things ... :)

June Malik said...

thanks Ian ..and dah cakap kat diket, paling koman pun kena masuk sprint event LOL! i might need deep sea lessons from you :)

Zaki said...

June, sorry to hear that... you can overcome it! :)

June Malik said...

zaki, for sure can insyaallah ! thanks :)